Day 19
Today was quite embarrassing for me. In the psychotherapy session, everyone was airing their dirty laundry so to speak. They made mention of the difficulties that they face, as well as challengers they face once they are discharged.
Everyone in this group apparently have only good things to say to me. Seems that I helped lessen everybody’s problems bu just being there and helping them through their distress.
It was all hugs an kisses, and everything was rosey. Then this guy mentioned I was leavin on sunday, then it was hugs,kisses and tears. It was all heartfelt and actuali brought a tear to my eye.
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
Day 15
Once again this DAMN psychotherapist worked on my nerves. She is so DAMN FUCKING boring. She offers no solutions to your problems. Her whole shtick is that others can relate to your problems. There may be people that can relate to your problem but no one has solutions.
My roomate stinks. He doesn’t wash every day. More like every second or third day. He was confronted today by the male nurse I told bout this situation. Of course he denied it but aah well, what can you do.
Tonight we will watch Wayne MacKay. He’s a comedian. Last night it was Joe Barber 4.
Laugh time. Catch you on the flip side.
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
Day 14
I’m back at the clinic. Made it back by lunch time. Naufil dropped me, but as per usual. The guys in my room smells like they didn’t shower in a week as they probably didn’t.
Good to be back in this warm safe environment. No stress no danger of me hurting anyone.
Tomorrow the shit hits the fan again. I’m really not liking psychotherapy
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
Day 13
Went shopping today. Bought kids new clothes.
Bought Aleenah quite a few outfits. Daddy’s Sexy Girl, as she calls herself, has to be dressed to impressed.
Mu’amr I didn really buy clothes. He only wanted a jersey an sneaker. Went to Total Sports, and even though he is only 2yrs old, I let him choose 4 himself. He decided on a black adidas with a black and white soul. I would have chosen the same lol
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
Day 12
I didn’t go to psychotherapy today. The therapist was quite angry because I had an appointment with my psychologist instead. I almost lost it an told her to go fuck herself. I mean like really now. What’s more important. Her fucking group therapy or seeing my psychologist.
Anyway fuck her and her stupid therapy. She just irritates me beyond belief.
I have weekend leave. I left the clinic @ bout 14:15. The psychologist an psychiatrist did not think its a smart idea for me to go home. Aah well. What the hell do they know lol.
I’m feeling fine, as long as I take my meds. I can’t drink while watching the game tomorrow. No drinking or spliffing for the foreseeable future. I hate that shit.
Sleep time. Catch ya on the flip side.
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
Day 11
Today was so to say uneventful. I hav cum 2 despise the therapist that runs the psychotherapy class. She irritates me to no end. She has this I’m always right and only I am right attitude.
One of my roommates is very inconsiderate. He leaves the TV blaring while he sleeps. He is rude and uncouth. If I wasn’t on a very effective mood stabiliser I would probably kill the fucking asshole.
Thanx 1000mg epilum an major thanx for seraquel
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
Day 10
Today in group therapy my psychologist tried to bait me into releasing my anger, my rage in what she calls a “safe” environment.
I didn’t take the bait and it seems she was disappointed. I can not release my anger toward a woman. They don’t understand that but that’s just how my brain works. Its hard wired to neva hurt a woman in any way shape or form if I can help it.
She irritated the shit out of me. But I suppose group therapy is good for me. She was so boring though that half of the people fell asleep. Me included lol.
The rest of the day was pretty boring. OH! Last night I started keeping a journal. I just write random thoughts in there. It seems to help a bit. Keeps me grounded so to say.
Blogging helps me a lot as well. And not forgetting Marilyn Manson. I’ve been listening to him whole day, an funnily enough, it calmed me.
Later peeps. Sleep time
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
Day 8
Today was uneventful. Jus kidding. In today psychotherapy class I chose not to partake. I just sat their an listened. Near the end of the session the therapist asked me directly about close relationships that ended badly. When I didn answer she pressed the issue. She prodded about my ex wife and then asked bout relationships the ended but were unfinished due to death.
I finally gave in to her constant pressure an mentioned the death of both my grandparents on my Dad’s side, as well as that of my Dad.
I will be the 1st to admit that even though I am a FREAK an that death is an interesting subject to me, I don’t deal well with death when its close to me and my space.
Conclusion is that I have a heavy resentment towards GOD for taking the people closest to me in a most devastating way. All died of heart attacks an organ failure due to diabetes.
Its 23:40 in beautiful Cape Town. Time for bed
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
